Healing letters of love – writing to and from the Inner Child

Recovering from the wounds of a difficult childhood

Who am I

I am Meena Iyer, coach, healer and breathwork facilitator. I am writing to share my experiences in the fields of Holotropic Breathwork, Inner Child Healing and personal therapy and coaching.

Quick Intro and Disclaimer

I am Meena Iyer, coach, healer and breathwork facilitator. I have trained in counseling psychology, NLP, Hypnotherapy and breathwork facilitation. I have run my own de-addiction center in Gurgaon working individually and in groups with addicts, alcoholics and their families.I now offer one-on-one coaching and facilitate online and offline workshops/ retreats on Inner Child Healing and Breathwork. 

Here is a disclaimer too. As I share my knowledge, experience and skills, they are constantly evolving and transforming, keeping pace with my own growth. If you feel ready to embark on this journey taking responsibility for the outcomes, hop on. The information shared here is for educational purposes only and not meant to substitute any professional guidance. There could be material not from the public domain which has been used to illustrate or explain only and not for infringement of intellectual property rights. Pls do not copy or share in any manner and infringe intellectual property rights. Information here is as understood and applied by me. Pls use your discretion while applying the same.

Who is this post for (Healing letters of love – writing to and from the Inner Child)

If you 

• Are aware that your childhood years were difficult.
• Don’t have a clear memory of your childhood years and yet have a feeling in your gut that things were not pleasant.
• Find yourself justifying the actions of people in your life knowing that you were hurt.
• Feel confused about how to interpret things that happened in childhood.
• Are already in therapy or coaching seeking to accelerate your healing. 
• Are  actively seeking healing from significant emotional issues
• Are dealing with loss – death of a loved one, divorce or a broken relationship.
• Are looking to work on chronic unworkable behavior patterns.
• Are in a toxic relationship at home or work.
• Suffer from addictive behaviour – substances, activities or emotions.
• Practice psychotherapeutic or energy healing modalities 
• You want to work on physical health issues.

Why am I writing this post?

Inner Child Healing is an important psychotherapeutic model conducted in groups or one-on-one. All our behaviour patterns can be traced back to our childhood experiences. One of the effective ways of establishing a connection with our scared, hurt and abandoned inner child is by writing letters. In the workshop we learn to write letters from our adult self to our inner child. We also learn to write letters from our inner child  to our adult self. This process is beautiful. Sometimes we want complicated answers to our simple questions. This post will help readers understand the simplicity of the process of letter writing. If you haven’t yet done the Inner Child workshop, you can still use this technique towards self expression and healing. However in the workshop there is a structure to understand developmental needs you had as a child and look at some of the issues you face in adulthood. It throws light on whether those needs were met adequately. You also look at some of the unhealed wounds of childhood and their impact on your life in the present. That helps you to connect with your inner child and facilitate the process of writing letters easily. The way we think, feel and behave originated either in support of or in opposition to what unfolded before us in our early years.  Whether you have already done the Inner Child workshop, trying to decide if it is for you,  or looking to deepen your understanding, this post  will provide valuable insights on the role that writing letters to and from your Inner Child can play in your life. 

What i will cover

• Why we write letters
• Letters from our adult self to our inner child
• Letters from our inner child to our adult self
• Importance of reading the letters
• A letter i wrote recently

Why we write letters

Letters as means of communication were replaced by email a few decades back to save time and costs of paper, ink and transportation of written material. It was delightful to send emails which we could edit, have spell checked and punctuated effortlessly. We could use a plethora of fonts and add pictures too. And then emails gave way to texting, whatsapp and now just an emoticon works to acknowledge a message. We have become lazier no doubt. 

Have we got less to share ? Certainly not. Have our minds reduced the number of things they think about or do our hearts and bodies have fewer emotions ? So what do we do? We talk when we can, to friends, family members and those who understand us and periodically to a coach or therapist even. What if we could speak with love and compassion to ourselves? That is what letter writing is for. 

Letters from our adult self to our inner child

Once you meet your inner child in a guided visualization, a hypnosis session or even a dream it becomes easier for you to write to them. Let’s say there is a memory you have of being hurt,  fearful or abandoned. The version of you in that memory is who you can address. So you can write a letter from your present awareness to this younger version of you, your inner child. These letters can be written with a normal pen or pencil on ruled or unruled paper. As you begin writing, you may feel conscious or inhibited. Soon, you get into the flow and don’t realize many lines, sometimes pages get written. The key is to remember who you are writing to. It is a young child. Keep your language simple and sentences short. It’s great to wait awhile before reading the letter you’ve written. If you are part of a support group, you can read out your letter there. Else you can share with a friend or someone who is close to you. The most important thing is to read the letter yourself. 

Letters from our inner child to our adult self

In the Inner Child workshop format that I offer, these letters are written with the non-dominant hand – left hand for a right handed person and right hand for a left handed person. Since its difficult and you are not used to it, I recommend using a thick crayon for the same. This also connects you to the child in you who once drew or coloured using crayons. When you really let go, the letters have very simple words, sometimes with wrong spellings and grammar. And it’s okay. Your inner child is talking to YOU. They are telling you what they feel, what they need – in other words you have a clue how to take care of yourself better. You have opened up some wounds for the infection to drain out. If that sounded harsh, I am here to tell you, it’s alright and natural to cry when you write letters and then read them. 

Importance of reading the letters

I have already talked about the best way of reading the letters from the adult to the child. The letters from the child in you speak to the compassionate, warm and wise adult in you. They call you to take notice of the things that got missed or forgotten. Maybe they draw your attention to the experiences you still miss and want to have. There are great insights to be gotten.

And when you read the letters from the adult to the child, there is great solace to finally hear the words you longed to hear. Through these letters you tell your inner child how precious they are. You reassure them that you are here now to listen to them, empower them and re-parent them. Truly, you are here to fill them with the love they always deserved. You tell them they are forgiven for the mistakes they always felt guilty about making, some things they had even been falsely accused of. 

A letter I wrote recently to my Inner Child

The contents of the letter clearly describe the situation that prompted me to write it. Reading the letter was deeply calming. 

Little Meena

What are you feeling? I know you are sad because after five days you wanted to get to the dog boarding and scoop Mocha up in your arms and take her home; and now you’re going to have to go home without her and come back halfway to the airport tomorrow morning to fetch her.

It’s not your fault. It’s not the fault of the boarding place. They need to have rules, else people will turn up at all odd hours and disturb all the little and big doggos. 

I know you are thinking why these thoughts won’t stop. Till you called the known Uber driver who agreed to ferry Mocha, not to come to the airport, you were hanging in thinking you’ll make the deadline. 

It’s not fair and you shouldn’t have to spend one more night away from Mocha.  But you know what, she is having quite a blast socializing. Tonight you’re probably going to miss her more than she misses you. And that’s okay too. No, you’re not being punished for leaving her at the boarding. You had no choice but to. And you knew the moment you saw Shalini, it was the right place. 

I know you’re wishing you didn’t have to leave again so soon. And that’s not your fault either. All these trips were planned before Mocha came into your life. 

So girl, it’s okay. You’ll be fine. And Mocha will be fine too. And the cab guy will charge you some extra money and that is fine too because you went for some pretty darn important work. 

You’re a brave girl, you. You can take care of yourself. And I’m here for you. I’m here with you through the long drive home, no traffic at this hour. 

No it wasn’t a wrong decision adopting Mocha. No it wasn’t. Anything you do with love and for love cannot be a wrong decision. 

You sleep well little one. I love you and am there with you, always. 

♥️

SUMMARY

Writing letters is a powerful tool for connecting with your inner child and strengthening your journey of Inner Child healing 

For workshop dates, get in touch:- 9999966540